The Gifts of Happiness

So sorry that it has been a little over a month since my last post! EEEK! Spring has been busy, busy, busy. My work is going well and is truly a place I enjoy being. It has helped to balance out my scales of happiness. Yes, they have been a bit wobbly the last 7 months or so, swinging to and fro, but things are leveling out. For this, I am so thankful.

The last few days, I have been trying to be audibly grateful for all the blessings in my life. Both to my Father who gives them and people that have been helpful or made a difference. This alone has helped to remind me that no matter what muck I may think I am going through, that there are blessings and gifts all around me. My children have been particularly adorable and remind me of these blessings frequently. Check out these pictures of Bear & Bug melting my heart:

 Being Prince & Princess

 Proposing to Mama....*sigh* that will always be a treasure!

 Happy Birthday Bear!

Three Generations on the Little Red

Baby Bug

 Little Bear

Note to self:

1. You are blessed with wonderful family
2. You are blessed with wonderful friends
3. You are blessed! 
4. You are loved by THE heavenly Father
5. Get over yourself. :D 

Fear, uncertainty and change all play on our minds and hearts. These things have a way of wriggling themselves into everything you do, all day. Let them go, TRUST God and walk on faith.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." --Jeremiah 29:11

Silver Linings

Following one of the worst weeks of my life physically (due to our friend the flu...& did I mention it was my birthday too?), I got to spend a wonderful evening and then snowy next day with my hubby and babies. Growing up in west Texas, we occasionally had a bit of snow...generally on Easter or Halloween it seems, but nothing really major to speak of. The news reports were preparing Oklahoma for a blizzard. So needless to say, I was.....excited. I know crazy, but I've always wanted to witness that amazing creation of snow in a mass quantity. Thankfully, Stillwater didn't get the brunt of the storm so we got enough to be fun but not enough to be painful. We all went out every hour or so after it started snowing and marveled at the wet, white substance falling from the sky. (Hubby and I were like kids ourselves at this point) 

Have I mentioned lately how amazing I think our God is? Just when we think things are awful, we get a little gift, a pick me up, a surprise that makes us smile. This is what the snow was for me. I know that not everyone feels this way, but for me it was perfect.

 I had been so sick and felt alone...my parents and in-laws weren't here to help, all of my long time friends were back home, and the kids had no real choice but to stay around because there wasn't anywhere else to go. I've been so blessed with a wonderful husband who took care of myself and the little bug (she had flu too). He was amazing and even missed work 2 days for us. My love for that man is always growing! I also figured out that there are people here who will help when we need it...people who are becoming my friends. I am forever grateful for that.

After a quick trip home last weekend for a birthday celebration with my mom, grandmother and friends, I came back to Oklahoma to prepare for the blizzard. I must admit I was pretty homesick after leaving them again. Kinda down and out. Then came the snow. The beautiful snow that I had never seen like this before....the reminder that even though things are different, they are beautiful, special, and all apart of a path laid out for me by the God who takes the time to make each snowflake different. This brings to mind one of my most treasured passages of the Bible...which also happens to be an area in which I frequently struggle. 

Matthew 6:25-34 NIV

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Dear Father,

Thank you for the snow, for the memories we made playing in it, for the displays of your love that are all around us. Please open my eyes and heart to the blessings around me instead of what I perceive as lacking. Grow these friendship seeds that you have planted here in Oklahoma to guide and fortify me. Help me to give my worry and control seeking to You. You've got this better planned than I could ever dream. Thank you for loving me even when I'm a little snow flakey.  ~Amen

PS~I firmly believe God has a sense of humor. :D

Hard Headed

Each time I pick the kids up from the kiddie corral, my little Bug makes a beeline to walk through a decorative rock bed outside. Now, these aren't the "small crushed gravel" kind of rocks, but more like "I'm studying to be a boulder" rocks. They are waaaaaay to big for her tiny feet and 'lack of balance' self to be navigating. She makes me a nervous wreck. All I can see is a head injury requiring sutures or her missing teeth for 4 years. Either way, it makes me crazy. She won't hold my hand and is determined to walk in it "BY MYSELF". 

I have pondered why she wants to do this....why, when the safety of my hand is there...why, when there is a smooth path that she could take? 'Cause she thinks she can handle it alone. It's fun...or at least it will seem to be until she takes that inevitable spill that will hurt. Of course, I will be there to scoop her up and comfort her and hopefully help her learn to choose another path. Oh my sweet child....she's taught me a lesson.

Just like this darling, I am also hard headed. I choose to walk alone at times, not holding God's hand through the rocky terrain of life. "I can handle it."  "I know what I'm doing." Thinking that what I'm doing is fun or exciting, even if it isn't 100% in line with God's word. (Everyone of us is guilty of that...it's called sin...I've got it, you've got it, the world has it.) Then the spill happens and it does HURT, whether physical or emotional or spiritually. Yet, our God is there....He's there to pick us up in our broken state and put us back together if we will just reach for His hand. There maybe a long spiritual rehab that leaves us with scars and perhaps a limp at times, but He will be there, every step of the way.

Also, I think that we could do ourselves a lot of good by reaching for His hand and moving to the safer path. It could save us some pain and heartache. Don't get me wrong, bad things will happen to all of us, no matter who we are...good, bad or otherwise. These are the facts of life. "If bad things happened to bad people and good things happened to good people, people would be good for the wrong reasons."--Dr. Jerry Jones We should be striving to be good because we love our God and want to serve and glorify Him with our lives. The Bible gives us plenty of examples of good people that had bad things happen to them: Moses, Job......Jesus. However, our ability to handle these things is dramatically impacted when we are centered in Jesus. We have the love, guidance, peace and comfort from a God and Savior who have given the ultimate sacrifice for us....hard headed, sinful, slow to learn, US.


Dear Lord,

I thank you for loving and guiding me in the midst of my hard headedness. Thank you for always being there when I reach out my hand. Show me how to keep myself centered in You, even with the distractions that this world brings. Lead me down the path You have chosen for me. Thank you for Jesus! Thank you for my precious children, who are constantly teaching me about You. Lord, please give me wisdom to parent them the way that You do me. 


~*Love your daughter*~

Hokahoma

It has been well over a year since I last posted. Why, you ask? Like lots of other people, I got busy. Work went from great to tough to unbearable resulting in a new job at a new company. That was a great blessing and led to a beautiful time of peace and tranquility...then came the promotion...for my husband that is.

We had been praying for God to move us somewhere out of the desert for the sake of our children's allergies. They both had a terrible time with constant boogies, infections, both had tubes and Bug still had antibiotics for ear infections. Here was the answer we had been praying for....a change with a promotion and salvage from the desert winds. We had been praying to be moved....move us where we are supposed to be, where we can be used, where our children will be healthy. (we did that part correctly) We got exactly what we prayed for...oh, wait.....the location isn't on our list. What list? He & I had been looking at "places to move" and had formulated an informal "list" of spots that we thought would be best. (mistake #1) I'm not entirely sure why we as humans think that we have this "life" thing figured out. I mean really....one look at any reality show would serve as evidence that people are just plain ignorant. (myself included)

God's hands of guidance (and sense of humor) led us to Oklahoma (Hokahoma as the kiddos say). Yep, every Texas girl's nightmare dream! (that was sarcasm) Needless to say, I was on board because I had peace about this adventure. I knew that God was in control and would take us where HE needed us. So here we are...6 months in with new job, new school, new church.... I've never been the new kid before. Sure I went to college and didn't know anybody, but that was different. You crave that independence, that ability to meet all kinds of people, determine who you are going to be. This is different. This is uprooting everything that your children have ever known, moving 9 hours away from your entire support system, trying to carve new relationships with people, find a new church. These last few months have been a roller coaster for me. I've been on both ends of the spectrum in every aspect. Excited to devastated, full of faith to ignoring God. I know, how could I? HE led me here, HE is in control, so why be upset with HIM?

Comfortable. That's why....I was comfortable in my life before and hadn't realized it. The changes I was wanting I wanted on my timeline, in my selected locations. (continuation of mistake #1) Thankfully, we serve a God who loves us despite all of our shortcomings, our temper tantrums, our failure to trust. He is still good at the end of every day. He still loves us and wants us to seek that relationship with Him. This week we have a seminar going at our church about relationships. It has been going one day and has already made a tremendous difference for me personally. After all we heard yesterday I have been reflecting and can see how childish, selfish, and just plain ignorant I have been. God has brought me here for a purpose. I don't know what that purpose is yet, and I don't need to know. What I need to do is suck it up, get back on my knees, and give it all to God so He can use me. I'm paralyzed right now...I'm not doing anyone any good wallowing. Lynn Jones, one of the speakers, said something that has been resonating in my mind "God can pull you through anything if you can stand the pull".

God, I'm ready...pull me out of this place I am in emotionally/spiritually and use me where YOU have planned. I'll hang on to YOU and YOU alone. Help me to see the blessings You have given us, reassure me when I'm faltering, strengthen me to stand the pull. I want my life to be a reflection of YOU and a blessing to others in every way possible. Thank you for loving this child even when I'm a miserable excuse for a daughter. I LOVE YOU! ~Amen