When I got there my little guy was literally falling apart. He had enough of all kinds of stimuli and was not handling anything anymore. He. Was. Done. I picked up my hysterically tearful guy and held him and hugged him. All he could say was "I don't know why I'm doing this. I don't know why I feel like this." *heart breaks into a million pieces* What caused this to happen? Sensory overload in a body and brain that doesn't process it correctly to begin with. His after schoolmates were more rambunctious than usual, and were screaming right before the down slide occurred.
These are the moments that it is hardest to say those words to God..."I trust You." Hard to think that this gut wrenching SUFFERING I see on my child's face is for a purpose. Yet, I know in my heart of hearts that God is in control. He will help Nolan learn how to handle these feelings, help me to support him, and guide us on the path He has laid out. Jeremiah 29:11 promises that He has a plan, a great plan...a plan of hope, not pain. My little guy is an amazing, sweet, very Jesus oriented little person who has been put here to do great things. This may mean his journey is longer, twisty-er (think I made that up), but all for the glory of God.
I mean, look at that sweet, snaggletooth!
Dear Lord,
Please guide our steps everyday. Give us the knowledge to do what is the very best for our little guy. Surround him with your arms. Protect him, calm his fears, quiet the anxiety inside. Prepare him for the amazing things you have planned. Keep the "why him? why us? this is unfair"s out of our mouths and minds. We know you have laid this journey before us and have equipped us for the task at hand. Our strength is IN YOU.
Your Daughter
amen.
ReplyDeleteHe lost a tooth already?!? Oh my GOSH he's growing up fast! You are such a wonderful mom. He is truly blessed to have you!